Monasticism and prayer beads.

I have to start by admitting that, despite a strong sense of calling (or at least of a very strong suggestion) to monasticism, I’ve felt a lot of ambivalence about it. I’ve had some strange and meaningful experiences as I’ve engaged with some of the practices, and in general the “techniques” (of specific practices as well as the general structure of living) are effective for making space for encounters with the Gods in a loud world. There are parts of it though, at least as monasticism is generally understood and described, that feel like they would be a prison if I did them. I don’t feel I would be wholly happy (or effective in what I’m doing, either) to limit everything in my life to be related to my religious practice, to have a strict, externally enforced routine, or to ever feel again like I am doing my practice “because I said I would” to the point of growing resentment.

But to be honest, minus some silly internet videos, some of the songs I learn on ukulele, and the work that pays for living, I can’t think of off the top of my head of many things in my life or in my daily thoughts that aren’t, or haven’t become, somehow at least a little related to my religious practice or the vision of this bigger project. I also don’t do social media anymore, haven’t watched TV for many years, have blocked every internet ad that I can, and I really don’t have social contact nowadays outside of the Druid/pagan group I help steward. So… joke’s on me, I guess.

I think I would still rather, at least for now, call my practice contemplative, or maybe monasticism-inspired at most. I don’t feel a need to make vows or write a formal Rule. I’m ADHD, and while I think I’ve done fairly well with maintaining a routine of practice considering, attempting that level of structure would be setting myself up for misery and failure. I can promise to do my best, to get back up when I fall, and to keep learning to open my heart and moving towards Them, because I love Them and want to. I think that has to be good enough. I am also learning that I have to let things emerge naturally over time rather than “creating” them, and I think that will be a continuous and slow process that I simply have to wait for as it wants to come.

One of the things I’m working on this year is establishing a better energy/magical practice than I’ve had in a while. I haven’t yet been able to make having that plus silence and waiting meditation happen on the same mornings, and that’s been a fruitful practice for me, too. So, I’m trying to work towards having an evening practice when I get home at night.

One of the things I’ve done towards that end is to create and dedicate some prayer beads for Hermes, which I now keep, along with a printed sheet of the prayers I use for them, next to the couch in a small ceramic bowl. I’ll have them as a visual reminder to do the practice, and the barrier for getting started is very low. I’m hoping it will open the way for a more robust practice to grow over time. I’m also trying to incorporate the silence meditation into my lunar cycle offering days.

Orphic Hymn to Hermes (for the Mercury dime)
Hear me, Hermes,
messenger of Zeus, son of Maia,
almighty in heart, Lord of the deceased,
judge of contests,
gentle and clever, O Argeiphontes,
you are the guide
of the flying sandals,
a man-loving prophet to mortals.
A vigorous God, you delight
in exercise and in deceit.
Interpreter of all you are,
and a profiteer who frees us of cares,
who holds in His hands
the blameless tool of peace.
Lord of Korykos, blessed,
Helpful, and skilled in words,
you assist in work and you are
a friend of mortals in need.
You wield the dreaded, the respected
weapon of speech.
Hear my prayer and grant
a good end to a life of industry,
gracious talk,
and mindfulness.

Sacred Bee*
Hermes, Speaker with Bees, God of Prophesy and Dreams, I listen and seek to understand.

Orange sunstone beads
I adore You, Hermes, gentle and clever (4x)
I adore You, Hermes, bringer of dreams (4x)
I adore You, Hermes, who stands at the crossroads (4x)
I adore You, Hermes, Guide of Souls (4x)

Black onyx beads
Beloved Hermes, thief of my heart, patient teacher and dearest Friend,
I honor and adore You.
I seek to follow in Your footsteps.

*The bee as a symbol is one of those things that keeps showing up and has seemed important, maybe to the project, but hasn’t really unfolded for me yet despite looking into it. I wanted to acknowledge both that it’s been there in my life but that I don’t yet think I “get it”.

I suspect that the wording of some of these prayers will change over time. We’ll see. An imperfect start’s better than no start.

I also want to include some other photos that are only a tiny bit relevant to the conversation. At my favorite forest, someone stacks stones dug up in recent trail rerouting, and whenever they appear on the sides of the paths, I pour a libation and say a prayer to Hermes, once represented by piles of stones at the crossroads to help travelers navigate. They get knocked down every so often, maybe by park staff, but they eventually come back. It feels a tiny bit subversive in a way I think He would appreciate. Hail Hermes, guide and protector of travelers!)